The Journey Home
by EnsoDancer
Summary: Visions of the past haunt Splinter as he struggles, while injured, to bring his young sons home. Meanwhile, Leo tries desperately to live up to his 'Fearless' nickname as he and his brothers experience their first real test of teamwork.
1. Chapter 1

He halted his steps abruptly and stilled all movement in order to listen, his brow furrowed and ears twitching this way and that. At their father's sudden stillness the four turtle children, who had been trotting happily stopped as well, a strict upbringing making it unnecessary for Splinter to tell them to quiet down. Their smiles faded and eyes grew wide as they tried to decipher what had caused their father's sudden alarm.

A slow creaking and the sound of rushing water made Splinter's heart jump in his chest as a fear for his children seized him. He sensed more than consciously knew that they were now in danger.

"Run! Hurry my sons!" Splinter yelled as he dropped the bag of supplies he'd been carrying and scooped his youngest up into his right arm while using his left to pull Donnie by his wrist, sure that Leo and Raph would follow right behind him.

The five ran down the dark and unfamiliar sewer tunnel, turning first right then left, instinct their only guide. Donnie, Raph and Leo moved as fast as their shorter legs would carry them while Mikey clung to his father's neck and buried his face in the now wet fur. Water seemed to be splashing from everywhere, as Splinter's eyes whipped desperately back and forth looking for something, anything to save them. Then seeing a rusted ladder he dashed toward it, practically dragging Donnie with him. Praying the ladder led to a higher level and safety, he first lifted Donnie onto it, then ordered, "Climb!" Looking behind him he saw his two oldest had fallen behind, unable to keep pace with his longer gait. Pealing Mikey from his body he reluctantly also put his youngest on the ladder and told him to follow his brother. Mikey was scared but knew better than to argue and instead did as he was told.

Running back toward his other two sons, Splinter watched in slow-motion horror as the tunnel where his sons had just been began to collapse, the destruction quickly gaining on his children. Suddenly very calm and exceedingly focused Splinter called on his ninja skills as he moved with stunning speed to grab both Leo and Raph, tucking them under each arm like footballs and ran back toward the ladder. Depositing each turtle on the ladder he stood his ground as he bid them to climb as fast as they could. His focus then, entirely on his children and not on the lead pipe running along the brick wall that had begun to bow at the internal pressure that was building inside it.

WHACK!

The pipe suddenly split spewing filthy water everywhere, the pipes hard edge catching Splinter on his temple and cutting a nasty gash. His head whipped violently back and to the side as he was knocked off his feet and into the rising water on the tunnel floor, bricks from the continuing collapse dropping like raindrops around him.

"Noooooo, Father!", Leo screamed. He had been last on the ladder and looked back just in time to see his father fall face down in the water. At Leo's scream his brothers also stopped and looked with consternation. Without thinking, Leo yelled frantically up at them, "Keep going, keep climbing," seeing their indecision he added forcefully, "Raph get them up to the top, go!" He then jumped down into the water, dropping to his knees beside his father who was also now kneeling and struggling to stand. Putting his arm, which only reached half-way, around his father's waist, Leo struggled to lift the weight of his father's tall frame.

Dazed and unable to completely focus, Splinter caught a glimpse of blue bandanna tails and muttered angrily, "No, go, leave me, go hurry!" To which, Leo only grimaced as he continued to try in earnest to lift his father to his feet. "No, climb, I am your Master! Listen to me!" Splinter continued with a bit more force though his voice was much weaker than normal.

"Please Father, help me, you have to get up! Please! I can't leave you, I'm sorry, please, you can do it!" Leo pleaded tears streaming down his face while he tugged relentlessly at his father's drenched kimono. Finally finding some inner reserve, Splinter groped for the ladder and grabbed tight once his fingers made purchase. Willing himself to ignore the waves of pain that shot through his skull as he moved, he used the ladder and regrettably Leo's shoulder as leverage to thrust himself to his feet.

"Alright, I am fine," he lied between breaths as he leaned against the tunnel wall "go up my son, I am right behind you."

The slurred and breathless rhythm of his father's normally commanding voice, wasn't last on Leonardo and for a moment he considered insisting his father go first but did not want to waste time with the argument. Reaching for the ladder he quickly climbed to make room for his father, looking back every few seconds to make sure his father was indeed still climbing behind him.

It took every bit of his drained strength for Splinter to cling to the rungs of the ladder, to force his exhausted muscles to pull him up one by one. He was also finding it increasingly difficult to coordinate his limbs, resorting to giving himself mental instructions. Hand-hand-foot-foot-pull. Hand-hand-foot-foot-pull. Finally almost at the top, he heard his children sobbing for him.

"Almost there, please Father!"

"Just a little more, Father!"

CRACK!

"Ahhhh", the turtles screamed in shock as one of the bolts holding the ladder to the wall shot off, denting the opposite wall before whistling the long way down to the tunnel floor.

SCREEEECH! Sparks flew as the ladder's right side dropped a few inches and scraped against the brick wall.

Meanwhile Splinter simply clung tighter trying not to make any sudden moves. With a deep breath, slowly he continued to climb, his head finally emerging in the upper level where the brothers were kneeling around the hole the ladder opened into. Swinging one arm and then one leg over the edge he grabbed and clawed, making his way completely over just as the ladder broke free and crashed to the water below. Raph, Leo, Donnie and Mikey uselessly yanking on him the entire time.

With his last bit of energy, Splinter used his arms to pull himself up to lean seated against the nearby wall, wrapping his arms around his sons who enveloped him and cried into his chest, he breathed deeply and squeezed their shells to him as much as his exhaustion would allow. Pushing aside their current predicament and the problem of getting back home, he instead could only focus his cloudy thoughts on his overwhelming gratitude for his son's lives.

…

_"Stay close Yoshi"_

_"Hai, Okasan" Yoshi answered his mother._

_The two carefully traversed down the mountain path that split the woods that lined their small village. Mrs. Hamato carrying two bundles of wood sticks strapped to her back and anxiously eyeing the dark clouds that were beginning to form._

_Suddenly huge strings of lightning streaked across the sky prompting to grab Yoshi by his wrist and quicken her pace, fully aware of the danger of flash flooding in the mountains. Moments later the crackling boom of thunder reached their ears and she was off, all but running, Yoshi's toes barely making contact with the ground as his mother dragged him behind her._

_In the next instant the sky opened unfurling waves of rain like a heavy cloak across the mountain. The dirt turned soft and muddy under their feet, trickles of water quickly becoming rushing torrents. Recognizing that they were still too far up the mountain to get down in time, Mrs. Hamato dashed laterally toward one of the tall Japanese pine trees. Blinded by the rain, she tripped and stumbled the entire way twisting her ankle in the process and covering one side of her once blue and fuchsia kimono in a soppy layer of black mud. Finally, reaching a tree with reachable lower branches, she yanked at the rope around her chest freeing the bundles of sticks on her back and letting them fall to the ground around her. Then bending down she looked into her son's eyes, and spoke calmly, "You are always climbing like my little monkey, now you climb up for mama, Yoshi-kun." Even though her delicate features were smooth and creased only with a small smile, Yoshi felt the distress coming off his mother and could not help the tears the began to well in his eyes. "Yes, mama, I climb"._

_Tying the rope around her son's waist she put Yoshi on her back and leaned against the tree, letting him use her as a step stool to reach the lower branches. Once she felt his weight lift off her she straightened and watched as her boy climbed expertly to the higher arms of the tree. Then reaching up herself she grabbed hold and tried to pull her own body off the ground. With much effort she managed to situate herself on one of the lower branches, her sprained ankle preventing her from going any higher. Looking up she smiled at her son who was clutching the tree. "Hold tight, my little monkey, do not let go. You must not let go!" she called to him over the clamor of thunder and rain. While she herself held a vice-like grip on the rope, the lifeline between them, determined to keep her son from washing away should he lose his grip._

_It was only moments later that one of the smaller trees beside them succumbed to the rising rush of water and slammed into their tree, testing both their grips with the impact; the tree's detached roots creating a new powerful wave of water that flowed toward them. Yoshi watched in terror as the wave came crashing into his mother's small body. Mrs. Hamato struggled to breathe as the water rushed relentlessly across her body. Feeling her hold on the tree slipping, she uncurled the fingers of her right hand and let the rope, and her hold on this world go, only seconds before the water washed her body downstream and under the waves, out of Yoshi's sight…forever._

_Desperately clutching the tree, it seemed like Yoshi sat there for hours as the rains finally dissipated. Confused at what had just happened but intent on following his mother's last directive. "Hold tight… do not let go, you must not let go"_

_"Hold tight" he whispered to himself "Don't let go, don't let go" he chanted like a mantra as he squeezed and sobbed._

_But wait... there was someone else crying too. Who was crying? Who was here with him? He squeezed his eyes shut to listen and in the darkness the tree vanished._

_..._

Snapping his eyes open Splinter woke startled to find himself clutching his sons to his chest.

"We won't let go Father, we promise", Leonardo reassured him as he tried to breathe through his father's unintentionally strangling embrace.

"Yeah, never!" Raph added.

"I'll never let go, I love you Father, please be ok." Mikey sobbed.

Coming into consciousness slowly, Splinter shook his head to clear it, but was rewarded with searing pain that made him sorry he had moved. Releasing his sons he let his head rest on the wall and took several deep breaths. It was coming back to him now, mixed with the memories of his own mother's passing he remembered the tunnel collapse and eventually the sobering realization that he had all four of his sons with him, he was injured and was a great distance from the lair.

"Father, are you alright? You're…..bleeding", Donatello observed timidly.

TBC

* * *

Thoughts? Should I keep going? Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I know this probably need a lot more proofing but I really want to update at least once a week so here you go. If you notice something feel free to PM me I won't be offended. And of course, all comments/feedback is greatly appreciated.

* * *

Turning to face his third son, Splinter squinted as he tried to clear his mind enough to understand the turtle's words.

"Wha…..I'm….I'm bleeding" he rasped.

Leo and Raph exchanged worried glances at their father's shaky speech.

Reaching up to touch his own temple, Splinter flinched at the sting of pain when his fingers met the sticky gash running across the side of his head. It was already drying, so they must have been sitting there for some time but he was too tired to figure out how long. He was weak and having trouble concentrating. His eyes, they just….they just seemed so…. so heavy and... The details of his self-evaluation hard for his mind to hold on to. Nevertheless he was sure, he knew he was suffering a concussion and possibly an infection from the cut. There was no telling how long he would be able to stay conscious enough to help his sons back home. Even in his mental fog Splinter felt a touch of panic at the thought, though his fatherly instincts took control as he tried not to alarm his already scared children.

"Oh, yes, I have had a little accident," he said slowly, carefully pronouncing each word and then offering Donnie a smile. "I will bandage it, " he paused "when we get home. I'm fine , my son, and there is nothing for you to worry about." Again he offered his son a weak smile before letting his head tip back to rest on the wall his eyes sliding shut. Not quite believing their father, it was quiet for several moments as the brothers waited anxiously for him to stir again.

"Um…sensei?" It was Leonardo

"Yes, my son," Splinter answered quietly without moving his head or lifting his eyelids.

Leo surveyed his younger brother's faces. Mikey had already complained about being hungry several times while Father had been asleep and Donnie's wide eyes seemed to be looking to him for answers, while Raph only scowled, a mask Leo knew meant his brother was scared. While part of him wanted to simply curl up beside them and wait as well; the responsibility, as oldest, to do something seemed to weigh heavily in that moment. What exactly to do though, he wasn't sure.

"How, um….should we….are you…," Leo stammered unsure of whether it was disrespectful to ask if his father had some sort of plan for getting them home. Before he could continue though, Splinter suddenly opened his eyes and began to shift his weight forward to stand. Splinter had heard the doubt and fear in his son's voice and felt the urgency of needing to move, needing to take charge while he still could, before he lay any more burden on his eldest young shoulders.

"My sons, we are going home, right now." He said in a commanding though a bit shrill voice.

At hearing his father give a directive, Leo sighed with inward relief and smiled widely, "Hai, sensei."

Mikey scrambled out of Splinter's lap and Raph and Leo offered their shoulders for their father to steady himself. Splinter finally got to standing, leaning heavily on the wall. Looking around he noted that they were in an unfamiliar part of the sewer, he cursed himself for bringing the turtles with him. He had wanted to use the supply run as an opportunity to train them on navigating in the labyrinth of tunnels. Before the collapse he had been instructing them on observing small landmarks but he wasn't sure how carefully they had been listening, as they were all excited and enjoying the rare occurrence of being out of the lair all together. To further complicate matters, they had run rather haphazardly to avoid the collapse. In his normal state, Splinter would have no problem leading them home, but with a concussion he would have to pray instinct would take over.

"We're up one level so if we continue east we should be able to avoid any workers who might be working on the collapsed tunnel. We'll go around and come down on the other side of it and then is a direct route from there to the lair, " he announced as much for his own benefit as for his children.

Pushing off from the wall his sons put themselves on either side of him and he took a few shaky steps.

Seeing Father upright and walking did wonders to relieve the young turtles' anxiety but the relief was short-lived. Suddenly overcome with vertigo, Splinter began to sway. Raph clutched his sensei's side desperately trying to keep him standing. As his vision blurred, the tunnel turned upside down and began to spin and it was sheer will that let Splinter shift his weight to avoid crushing one of his sons as he buckled to his knees. Before he could move again, waves of nausea racked his body. Face wrinkled in utter shame and distress he clinched his paw over his muzzle as he involuntarily and quite violently retched through his fingers releasing all the bile from his gut onto the tunnel floor.

Terror gripped each turtle child as none of them had ever comprehended that Father could get sick. His world no longer making sense, and the entire ordeal becoming too much Mikey collapsed in sobs. Donnie, himself deeply shaken, was next to Mikey instantly hugging his little brother and whispering that everything would be ok, though he didn't really believe his own words. Raph, meanwhile, stood completely frozen staring at their father, his own stomach turning weak and jumpy, at that sight of their father so distressed. No less stunned it was Leonardo that had managed to hold on to Father, keeping contact on his father's shoulder with his trembling hand and offering his silent support as he didn't know what else to do.

His sickness finally subsiding, Splinter caught his breath before dragging himself back against the wall and far from the mess. Sitting there for a few moments he breathed deeply while his sons stared, whimpered and waited. He was not going to be able to walk much less lead them home. Finally, looking to Leo who had never left his side, he whispered using his native tongue "Son, your family needs you now, I need you"

"Hai, Chichi, nandemo," Leo answered without hesitation and while noting that his Father's slip to Japanese meant the situation had just gotten more serious.

Splinter nearly lost his composure at the menacing guilt that assaulted his spirit as he considered what he was about to do. He wasn't sure if it was the right choice. Should he send them all back at once? He wasn't sure Leonardo could handle leading all his brothers at once they were already scared, hungry and tired and could distract him from navigating. But what if he sent Leonardo ahead alone and he never came back? That would kill him, he would never be able to go on. On the other hand, what if he passed out and died from infection, while his sons watched? He knew the unclean conditions did not bode well and that infection could quickly become deadly when one could not simply go to a hospital. What if his body was found and the city began searching the sewers for other mutants….. for his sons! Splinter's mind raced as he considered each worst case scenario and settled on FAILURE. It was all Splinter could think. He had failed his precious sons and didn't even have the presence of mind now to reason the best course of action for them. Trying desperately to calm himself, he walled the horrifying thoughts away in his mind in order to do what he must.

"I need you to go back to the lair and bring back my medicines and supplies, it will help with the sickness and then we will go home, everything will be fine" he spoke with exaggerated calmness, still in Japanese.

Unsure his voice wouldn't crack, Leonardo simply nodded.

"If you go east in that direction," he tilted his head slightly indicating the tunnel on the left " you'll soon come to a split junction. Veer to the right there, you'll go a long way, eventually you will run into the Canal St. tunnel you are already familiar with, from there you know how to get home." Pausing to look at his eldest, " I showed you how to look for the markings and how to know where you are, and how to avoid the humans, do you remember?"

"Um…yes, I remember"

"Good, I want you to take Donatello with you." Hearing his name Donnie looked over at his father and older brother and was simultaneously scared and proud that he would be included in the mission.

"I have been showing Donatello how to mix the herbs, Donatello, come to me my son"

Holding Mikey's hand Donnie walked and then kneeled next to his father's side, "I'm here Father"

"Do you remember our lessons on the medicines?"

"Yes, Father"

"Umeboshi, the peppermint leaves and the ginger?"

"Yes, Father I know what to bring," the young genius knew his Father meant for him to mix the herbs to help with throwing up and infection. Donnie had been happy to play assistant doctor the last time Raph had been sick and Father had mixed the various concoctions. Father had said it would be good for one of his sons to know the medical crafts and that Donnie's curious mind was well suited for the task. However, then it had felt like just a fun game that meant he got to spend special time with Father, now it didn't feel like a game at all.

"Raphael, Where is"

Raph jumped at his named being called but quickly joined his Father and brothers, "Yes, Master"

"My young warrior, I need you to stay here to protect your little brother."

For a moment, a twinge of anger bubbled inside the second oldest. It felt like perhaps his father was giving him the babysitting job just to placate him, why shouldn't he go with Leo or even instead of Leo if he was such a warrior?

"Raphael, Raphael are you listening?" Splinter said with a harsher edge to his voice breaking his son from his thoughts.

Raph snapped his head to look at his Father, and the sight of his Father so weak, made him instantly ashamed. "Yes, Father, whatever you need"

"If anything happens, if anyone comes, you take your brother and hide, do you understand, protect your brother, protect yourself, do you understand?"

Looking into his Father's eyes he felt like he was being given a kind of silent permission to do whatever was necessary to protect his brothers. Raph nodded seriously, nothing before feeling quite as right as the task at hand.

"What about me Father, What do I get to do?" Mikey chimed in feeling like he was somehow being left out.

"You, little turtle, have a very important job. You get to keep your Father company while we wait. Can you tell me a story?"

"Yes, yes, I can do that, but I'm not sure which one, there are so many good ones."

"Well, I'm sure Donatello and Raphael can help you decide and then you can surprise me while I speak with your brother, ok?"

Knowing they were being dismissed Raph and Donnie let themselves be led by Mikey to the side of the space where he excitedly tried to choose the story that would make his Father the happiest. Only half listening both the middle son's eyes lingered on the unintelligible conversation between their big brother and Father.

Leaning in very close to his son's ear. Splinter whispered, "One more thing you must promise me, Leonardo"

"Yes, Father?"

"If you return and something has happened, if I'm …..if the medicine doesn't work, I want you to take your brothers back to the lair and never come back here again. "

Leo gasped horrified and drew his head back to look at his Father. "But, I…what about you, we could never leave y…"

With a surge of strength, Splinter grabbed his son's shoulders with a quick shake and fixed a stare in his eye, "Your duty is to protect your brothers, you must promise me"

Leo couldn't help the tear that slipped down his cheek, he had never heard his father's voice like this before.

"But, I…"

"You dare dishonor my wishes," the curt words hurt Splinter as much as Leonardo, he hated how unfair it was to lay this burden on his son at such a tender age but he had known long ago that life would not be easy for his children. He had to know they would leave him if needed. He had to be sure Leonardo would leave him beyond if it came to that. "Promise me," he ordered again.

"I… promise."

"On your honor"

Leo found himself looking deep into his Father's eyes and with a bit of surprise saw his own pain reflected there, Leo swallowed, a bit of his innocence lost forever, and then willed his face to become a mask of resolution. Determined to be the strength his father wanted and needed.

"I promise. I promise on my honor."

All his energy drained, Splinter let his arms fall limp from his son's shoulders and tilted his head back once again to the wall.

"You will be a great leader my son, I love you."

Standing Leo whispered, "Rest now Father, I won't let you down"

Splinter knew his son was more scared than his words let on, but he also felt an unexplainable assuredness in his son's abilities, despite his youth and was able to rest just a little.

Leo motioned his brothers to join them again, the three coming over immediately. Donnie hugged his Father who told him he loved him and to stay close to Leonardo, while Raph and Leo exchanged a silent big brother understanding that little brothers be protected no matter what.

Then taking Donnie by the hand, Leo turned to walk down the tunnel that he hoped would lead back home. Turning over his shoulder he looked at Raph standing arms crossed by their Father who had Mikey in his lap. For a reason he couldn't explain to himself, he tried to freeze the image to his mind's eye, before calling, "Don't worry, we'll be back soon." Stepping into the dark tunnel with Donnie by his side, he used the image to propel his feet forward into the unknown.

TBC

* * *

So if you got this far, I'm curious, how old do the turtles sound to you, I have an idea in my head but I'm wondering if that's coming across without me explicitly stating it. What else? suggestions welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Took longer than expected to get this out, sorry 'bout that. Hope you enjoy though.

* * *

"Leo?"

"Yeah?" Leonardo answered his brother as he continued to carefully traverse the dark passageway, side stepping the nondescript debris that littered the tunnel floor.

Taking care to step only in his brother's vacated footsteps, Donnie's brow furrowed deeply as he stared at the groves in his brother's shell. His stomach ached as much or more from worry as hunger. He didn't want to bother Leo, who seemed so determined and focused at the moment, but his analytical mind was waging a war of what if's with him and Leo or Father had always been the ones to help him get it under control. No, he thought, he wouldn't be a baby, intending to tell his brother 'never mind', he was surprised when his mouth, on its own, whispered, "What if…"

"Hey, go slow here, stay to the left side, it's pretty cluttered." Leo interrupted, calling over his shoulder, his focus still on moving forward in the near total darkness, but then added "What if, what?"

"Well…." Donnie, swallowed the lump in his throat remembering for a moment the horror of seeing Father retching earlier. Donnie was quite bright and mentally advanced for his age, he understood, perhaps more than his brothers the seriousness of being sick, of germs and infections. He had been reading some of the medical books his Father had scavenged and though he only understood every fourth or fifth word, he was quite aware that sometimes people didn't always get well after a sickness.

"What if….Father doesn't get better, what if he….d..di" he fell silent for a moment unable to give voice to the last word, as tears balanced without falling on the bottom rim of his eyes. "Who will take care of us?" he sighed finally, the fear in his words all but naked to Leo's ears.

Stopping abruptly Leo whipped around to face his brother so quickly that Donnie had to stop short to avoid running into him. Gently cupping his hands around the sides of Donnie's head he forced his brother to look him in the eye. To an outsider, it might seem that Donnie's superior intellect was allowing him to handle the situation rather well all things considered, but Leo knew better. He knew the quiet way his little brother could freak out, thinking himself into circles that led to his brother isolating himself in his own mind. He might be a genius but he was also Leo's kid brother, and right now, despite his own fears, Leo was determined to calm him.

"Donnie, listen to me." Leo started in his best imitation of Splinter, "Number one, Father is going to be fine. It'll take more than a little hit on the head to take our Father down, he's a ninja Master, he's strong and he'll be fine, you know I'm right. And number two, nothing is going to happen to you or Mikey or Raph, ever, because I won't let it. Do you understand? We're gonna take care of each other, always and forever so stop worrying. I mean it, trust me, o.k. I'm not gonna let you down"

Tears flowing freely now, Donnie just nodded his head, happy to put logic aside and just trust his heart and his big brother. Leonardo sensing they both needed it, enveloped his brother in a hug and they stood silent for a long moment, comforting each other and gathering strength for what still lay ahead.

Finally pulling away, it was Donnie now that took a turn at reassurance. "Okay, I'm o.k. now, let's keep going, I don't know how long Raph can last listening to Mikey's stories." He offered, lightening the mood with a grin.

"Oh," Leo responded in mock surprise. "You're right, we better hurry."

Both feeling lighter the two turtle children seemed to make better progress, finally reaching the open junction Splinter had described in his directions.

With literally a light at the end of the tunnel, the two began to run as they chorused "We did it! This is it!" giving each other high threes, their youth apparent despite the situation. Coming to the end of the tunnel though, their jubilation was extinguished with cold reality as the open space reveled what could only be described as a canyon filled with a series of huge water turbines churning a full speed. Turning their heads to the left and right, Leo and Donnie peered worriedly at several other tunnel openings around the circular space and at the thin metal mesh bridges that crisscrossed high in the air above the water, connecting one tunnel to another.

Feeling suddenly a little nauseous, Leo took a few stumbling steps backward, his eyes wide as he dared to glance downward. 'It's… high, it's so high up, why does it have to be so high' he thought though he said nothing. Not that there was any need, as Donnie slipped his hand into Leo's and regarded his older brother knowingly. Leo would take care of them, but now Donnie would take of him.

…..

"And then there was two frogs and they was living on a farm, and they was green like us, 'cept they was frogs and we're turtles and they hops everywhere and we just walks everywhere…." Mikey went on as he sat in Splinter's lap playing with the corner of his father's robe.

Raph sighed for the thousandth time and continued to pace back and forth. Normally Mikey's manner of telling the fable of the two frogs and the milk would be driving him crazy. However at the moment it was the least of his worries. He also recognized that though Mikey was in actuality not all that much younger than the rest of them, he tended to act the part of 'littlest turtle' when he was scared or distressed. His non-stop rambling just a defensive mechanism against fear.

Mikey wasn't the only one afraid though and Raph had his own ways of coping. He was getting increasingly antsy and frustrated, as evidence by his nearly constant kicking at the ground to unsettle the dirt. 'Where the heck are those two", he thought to himself. It felt to him like they had been waiting forever and he wondered if maybe he should go looking for them. Though, glancing at his father, he knew leaving wasn't a good idea. He had never seen his father like this. He was obviously weak and had it not been for his father's heavy and labored breathing, he wouldn't have been sure he was still alive. Splinter had long ago stopped responding to Mikey, though Mikey didn't notice or at least pretended not to. With his head resting back against the wall and eyes closed, to Raph it seemed as if his once indestructible father was wilting before his eyes.

"And then those silly frogs fell into the milk and…", Mikey continued

"HE FELL!", Splinter screamed suddenly, shocking Mikey whose eyes opened wide as teacups.

"Father?" Mikey whispered before jerking his head to look at Raph questioningly.

"Oh, Gomennasai! I'm so sorry, my son, my son," Splinter continued desperately while thrashing about and clutching Mikey to his chest.

Raph ran to kneel next to his father who seemed to be locked in some sort of nightmare. "Father, its ok, you're just having a bad dream", he cooed as he tried to get his Father to release his youngest who was now crying loudly.

"My son! You fell! I'm so sorry! I'm a horrible father! FAILURE, I'm should have known better! ", Splinter continued squeezing the now hysterical Mikey.

"Raph!", Mikey screamed for his brother.

"Father, please let Mikey go, you're….please, wake up!", Raph shouted desperately though his words couldn't seem to break through the fog that gripped their father.

….

Reaching into the cupboard he had made from discarded supermarket crates he pulled out the teakettle while he adjusted the whimpering child on his hip. He eyed the teakettle's small floral design and chuckled to himself, it was an artifact of his former life, before his mutation, before fatherhood.

Pouring the hot water from the pot that had been on the hot plate into the tea kettle he then dropped in the leaves, replaced the lid and waited for the sencha to brew. He was tired, very tired he had to admit as he swayed the little turtle back and forth hopefully coaxing him back to sleep. It had been nearly 24 hours since Splinter himself had had any real sleep and at this late hour he wasn't sure just how much longer he could hold out. He was ninja, he had trained in dealing with exhaustion, but somehow nothing had prepared him for this, the sleep deprivation of parenthood. Single, isolated parenthood at that, with four turtle tots and a new body he was only just beginning to understand. Yet he couldn't curse his destiny, he loved his little ones dearly and had found new purpose in caring for them though he worried constantly that he would somehow not be adequate. He sighed as he planted a kiss on the forehead of the little child who smiled toothless at him but didn't seem the least bit interested in sleeping. Needing his tea more than ever, Splinter sat his son on the counter and turned his head for a second to pour the tea.

THUD. "WAHHHHHHHH!"

He fell! Splinter realized in horror. He had only turned for a second and the little toddler had fallen of the counter.

"Oh, Gomennasai! I'm so sorry, my son, my son," he cried as he cradled his screaming child.

The child was more shocked and scared than hurt, but Splinter berated himself nonetheless for being a failure as a parent. He had to do better, be better for them he thought as he squeezed little Leonardo and rocked him in his arms.

"Leonardo, Father is so sorry, please forgive me…."

…

"Leo isn't here remember! Please Father, it's not Leo, you've got Mikey! Sensei, let go! Wake up!", Raph screamed while pulling at his father's arms with all his strength trying to free his brother.

Then as suddenly as it had started, the episode ended. His father let go and slumped back sliding down the wall in an awkward half laying down, half sitting position. Mikey wasted no time running into Raph's arms who, for all of his tough guy image, instantly cradled his little brother and whispered assurances that everything would be ok. Father had just had a bad dream and was sleeping now.

Everyone would be o.k. Raph repeated over and over again, at least… he hoped so.

TBC

* * *

Thanks for reading! Any feedback or suggestions are always appreciated.


End file.
